Last month I had to create a self portrait in my painting course. I was stumped. Now we all know a self portrait doesn’t have to always involve a face (thank goodness, ‘cause that was NEVER going to happen). While I was sitting at my kitchen table brainstorming my mind began to wander a bit. I was thinking how much I was opposed to this project; who wants to see the self portrait of a fat girl?
All of a sudden I snapped out of it and said, “I do!” I want to see me; I want other people to see how I see myself. I want to be honest about the fact that I LOVE ME. There are things I want to change, there are ways I could be healthier, there are ways I could take better care of myself, but in general I love me the way I am.
I finally realized this assignment wasn’t necessarily about the physical, but more about being introspective and having that process come out on the canvas. This was a hard realization. I didn’t want to fail myself; I wanted to do something really honest, something raw, and something intimate. I wanted to make something I would be really proud of.
I did it.
I created a painting I am proud of, I investigated painting techniques I had been afraid to try, I incorporated so much of myself at times it pained me; the pain of honesty, the pain of seeing the myths I tell myself. I learned through this experience that I am enough. I am lucky to have been given the chance to take this look at myself.
**Jennifer is an undergraduate student studying Studio Art, she volunteers at the Rappahannock Council Against Sexual Assault and is planning on pursuing her Master’s Degree in Art Therapy and Counseling. Jennifer loves to make stuff, share with others, and learn. You can find her day to day ramblings and crafty adventures on her blog Crafty Dayeseye , and keep up with her project Art Every Day . Jennifer lives inFredericksburg,Virginia with her wonderful husband, an angel of a dog, and a little demon doggie.**